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Thursday, 23 February 2017

Eight months on.

It's been a while since I have sat down to make a post.  The last eight months have been awful. How does one get on with life when half of it is missing?  It's only now I feel that I can, through the tears, put down some words.

This is a tribute to the wonderful person I shared 44 years of my life with.

Trevor Alan Hadley was born on the 31st March 1954, the third child of Ray and Brenda in Bilston.  He had an elder siblings Roy and Joy and after a few years a younger sister Jackie.
The Hadley family lived in Bilston and were close and fun loving.

Trevor was a typical boy getting into mischief in the company of his ever faithful dog Bobby.  Sometimes as he attempted to hide on the fields behind their home after some jape but Bobby would be the one that gave him away by sitting, wagging his tail next to the bush Trevor would be hiding behind!
Always interested in anything mechanical, encouraged by his dad and Uncle Norman.  He had quite a collection of Matchbox cars and trucks as a lad.

Though Trevor had many friends at school he wasn’t motivated by the teachers, and despite passing the 11+ and attending Grammar school he caused some consternation by not being very attentive.  His parents didn’t know weather to laugh or cry at a comment on one of his school reports by his biology teacher – ‘Trevor is an amiable buffoon!”

After leaving school, and fully motivated by his interest in mechanics he went into an apprenticeship at Bradburn & Wedge Wolverhampton, and attained his City and Guilds qualifications in Vehicle Mechanics with distinction.  Never happier than covered in oil and with a spanner in his hand!
He had good friends including Pete and Neil, who he shared good times with. Many laughs were had together, and their shared interests in cars and motorbikes, and spending happy hours ‘off-roading’ over the fields.   
He had a wonderful knowledge of a wide range of music styles, including blues, rock and Cajun and could tell who was playing backing instruments on recordings by there styles of play.

Trev and Rose met in July 1972 on a blind date – but not with each other!  They shared company over a drink or two and by the end of the evening Rose knew that she had met her soul mate.  Many of their courting days were spent happily customising his cars.  They were pretty well inseparable from then on. Getting married in 1978.

He started working for BRS in 1975 as a HGV vehicle mechanic until attaining his 21st birthday when he got his HGV licence, which he was longing for and from then on was out on the road in his truck.  He had the most amazing knowledge of the roadways of both Britain and Europe, never needing a map as his very own ‘TREVNAV’ came into play. Up to his retirement in October 2014 and having driven literally millions of miles with an accident free driving record.

In 1982 he became the very proud father of Vicky, upon whom he doted. 
Vicky becoming his constant companion when he was at home.  Together, they fettled motors in the garage and walked for miles sharing a love of nature and wildlife – often joined by neighbour John and brother Roy and his daughter Laura.  Of course his roguish ways never left him, and he was know to play pranks upon Vicky – one memorable one by bending a nail around his finger and smearing tomato sauce around it to pretend he’d injured himself.

One day old - first family photo

He came back to motorbikes later in life, and still loved to individualise his Honda CX.  Someone once commented to him that you couldn’t fit a 650 engine into a 500 frame – he soon disproved that theory by his huge knowledge of mechanics! His beloved black bike SLY runs like a dream, and he has toured all over the UK and also got many miles under his belt in Europe attending club rallies in both Holland and Germany.  He greatly valued the friends that this interest bought into his life, and he spent lots of time talking bikes and sharing jokes with them.  Helping each other when spares or technical information were needed.  A close friend once offered him some spares and his reply was that ‘My shed runneth over!’

Happy days together.

His last project, the beautiful blue American CX 650 Custom was built up from a bare frame and arrived mainly through the post box!

Though Trevor had a busy life he was generous with his time and would always help out a friend in need.  He loved his family and friends and always the gentle giant with the roguish laugh

It was a mark of the high esteem in which he was held when over 95 people attended the celebration of his life, they came from all over the UK, Southern Ireland, Holland and Germany.

Ancient history, almost 45 years ago...
19th July 1972  
I had been set up on a blind date - all I knew was a rough description of the chap, and that his name Rob.
I was at the appointed place on time and a car kept driving past, slowing but not stopping.  The handsome chap driving the car would smile as he slowed down....I was confused, why if he was my date didn't he stop?  I waited for around twenty minutes after the appointed time and thought that was long enough.   I started to walk to my brothers home about two miles away.  As I walked along the main road, the same car kept driving past... By the time I was only a few hundred yards from my destination curiosity got the better of me (young and foolish you see) So I kept a look out in case he came past again, as I saw the car I stood and waited... The driver pulled up alongside and leaned over and wound down the window and said hello.  I asked his name - fully expecting the reply to be Rob, and was horrified when he reply "Trev".  I was totally embarrassed, and stuttered an apology and started to walk hurriedly off.  He asked me to stop, and got out of the car to talk to me.  I explained who I'd thought he was, and he commented that Rob was a fool to stand me up.
I was certainly attracted to him, but also cautious.  He asked if I'd like to go for a drink.  I said that as long as I could select the place we could go.  There was a pub just around the corner, so I suggested there - he agreed and off we went the few hundred yards to the pub and talked and laughed together for the next few hours....I knew in that short time that he was 'the' one.
Who knew that this meeting would shape the rest of my life.


Patricia Ellingford said...

Hugs sweetie what a lovely post. Pattypan xx

Rose H (UK) said...

Thank you Trishia, hope you are keeping well. xxx

ann said...

I sometimes I think what it would be like not to have my husband anymore after 40 some years of marriage. It is not a very pleasant thought and my heart aches for you. It must be a very lonely and quiet life. You have written a lovely tribute and I hope that writing about him has given some comfort. Think of the wonderful legacy and memories that he leaves and know, too, that as you pass on the lessons and good things that he did, that legacy will continue and he will be honored and loved. Bless you, Rose. Stay well

Mary said...

Dearest Rose, this is such a beautiful, loving tribute to your dear Trevor. I truly appreciate you sharing the story of your meeting - lovely - and your many years together. The photos are beautiful, I especially love the one of the two of you with your baby daughter.
I know these months have been hard for you, going through the grieving process must be heart rending, and is something we all fear with our nearest and dearest. I hope so much your daughter and other family members are nearby to help you, and that with the coming of Spring you will feel more like getting out and about - I'm sure that is what Trevor would want.

You remain in my thoughts.
Love and hugs from across the pond - Mary X

Snowbird said...

Oh Annie, my heart is breaking for you. You have my deepest sympathy, I can only imagine how much you miss your darling Trevor. I hope you have the comfort of close friends and family and that all your wonderful memories help. A lovely, lovely post. Sending you all my love and comfort.xxxxxxx

Denise said...

Rose, This is such a sweet tribute to your husband, Trevor. I enjoyed reading about how the two of you first met and the good times you had together. It really is an amazing thing in this world to find one's soulmate, don't you think? I feel like so many people out there never find theirs. I can tell you two were truly happy together, and I'm so sorry you're without him now. I would miss Hal so very much if something happened to him, and my heart goes out to you, Rose.

You continue to be in my thoughts, and I hope all of this will get easier with time. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. Sending warm thoughts your way.

Denise at Forest Manor

Katie Mansfield said...

What a beautiful tribute. A sweet story and courtship. I am so sorry for your loss.

Laura Adams said...

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry to hear of your loss.