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Sunday, 6 January 2013

A bit of an explanation.

Hi folks, hope you are all well recovered after all the festivities.  I'd again like to thank you sincerely for the supportive comments and emails I have received, you ARE such lovely, lovely folk - you really have no idea how much I have appreciated them.
I'd also love to welcome my new follower :o)  (Waves hello).

Thank goodness, I'm back to firing on all cylinders (except I appear to have almost completely lost my sense of smell), and hubs is feeling a lot better and is going to attempt going back to work (again) tomorrow - he did return last Wednesday but had to come home again as he was still suffering with breathing problems.

I feel I should now share with you the main problem that is affecting us, though I do not wish to appear hard or even feeling sorry for myself - I'm not one of natures nurses and am finding it incredibly difficult to deal with all of this....
 
My Mother is still suffering from a chest infection with a hacking cough even after two lots of antibiotics and cough medicine.  Sadly, this is not the only problem...she has been showing more and more symptoms of dementia since the start of her illness and her depression (which she is treated for) is certainly getting worse.  We have never had a close relationship and the advancing symptoms are making this relationship even harder - she has a lot of verbal aggression if things are not exactly as she wishes, and can be very demanding - especially of time.  I can be with her for a number of hours and then when I return home she will have rung before I've even got back.  There have been days that I have had in excess of 20 calls from her even though I've been to do jobs/care for her that day, because she needs to talk to someone - I'm afraid in exasperation I've even given her The Samaritans phone number to try and lighten the demands on me.
My brother lives 170 miles away and was very shocked when he came to see her on Friday at the way she treats people that are trying to help.  (He last visited on the 21st December - her birthday).  When he comes she is normally all sweetness and light with him and his wife, but this time he saw her 'normal' behaviour.
She moved to sheltered housing in the village five years ago to be nearer to me in her advancing years and lives less than a mile away.  Once she moved here she insisted that we sorted out an 'enduring power of attorney', which looks like it will have been a blessing as things will, no doubt only get worse.

I am doing my best and I'm trying to get some further support arranged for her, which should be easier once she has been back to the Doctor for a full medical assessment (which I requested on our last visit on New Years Eve).  One of the problems are that now she says she's not going back to see the Doctor, so it looks like I have some cajoling to do - I will however see the Doctor on my own beforehand to try and explain the situation as I can foresee all sorts of difficulties when she does finally agree to go back.

Well, that's it in a nutshell.  Now you know why I've been lying low, and will not be about very often for the foreseeable future.

I sign off wishing you all well.


14 comments:

Patrice said...

You'll be in my prayer.

Mary said...

Dearest Rose - so sorry about your mother's decline in health - as you know we are going through similar with Bob's mom (94) and now looks like she will move to the next level of care, the nursing home! Sad days - hope things improve at your end.

Off south come Wed. and still have loads to finish up around here plus get moi in traveling mode - it's going to be close company with 131 other passengers on that ship, so hair, nails etc. tomorrow - yes even for an expedition gotta look half way decent you know, ha! ha!

Glad you and hubby are doing better - hope he doesn't overdo it at work this week - breathing well is so important!!!

Love and hugs, hang in there - 'see you' in Feb.
Mary X

Denise said...

Oh Rose, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm glad your dear hubby is mostly better (and you too), and I certainly hope your sense of smell returns soon.

What a terribly difficult situation this is. We have one family member who is this way, and she is definitely capable of running everyone ragged. She's incredibly demanding. People who've never dealt with someone like this have no idea what it's like. I just hate it for you, and I hope you can get some other form of assistance arranged when you see her doctor.

We'll miss seeing your regular blog posts, but we'll be here when things settle down enough for you to return.

Many hugs,

Denise at Forest Manor

Ann@A Sentimental Life said...

Oh dearest Rose, my heart goes out to you. Know I am thinking of you and wishing that things get better soon.

Liz said...

Dear Rose, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. I pray things will improve soon.
Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

Marilyn said...

It is good that you could share with us, your blog friends, as we can at least listen. Sometimes it really helps just to share. It would be nice to be closer so we could pop in and relieve you from time to time. My dad has been gone since 2004 and now my mom's friends all have either died, become senile or deaf. My brother is very near, but he doesn't chat. Thankfully he is there everyday and eats lunch with her. I am going to try and call her every other day now. She is not at all demanding, but I'm not one to talk on the phone much so it will be a challenge. If you ever need to vent and don't want to blog, just send me an email and I will listen. Take care of yourself and may God Bless you and give you peace.♥♫

Sharing Shadymont said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Rose. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know what you mean about how demanding a sick relative can be. Just do the best you can, and know that you are doing the right thing. Don't hesitate to ask for help. It's so hard trying to do everything yourself. Take care of yourself too!

In my prayers,
Kathy

greenthumb said...

Oh you poor thing it must be such a hard thing to go through, all the best.

Jay said...

Oh Rose I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time just now. It maybe that some of the dementia symptoms are related to the infection, I know my Gran became confused when she was ill over quite a period of time, luckily she improved enormously when the infection cleared.
I also have a very difficult (almost non existant) relationship with my Mum so really feel for you. Sending you lots of love. x

Leanne said...

such lovely comments above, hopefully they help you feel not so quite alone in this,. sending my love and hugs too, wih i could do more

Leanne x
talesofsimpledays.blogspot.com

Little Blue Mouse said...

I do hope you get the extra support you need, it must be very hard for you.

It's good to hear that your health is better, and I hope you husband is fully recovered now.

Reflection Through The Seasons said...

Dear Rose...
I stopped by to leave you greetings for 2013 and when I read this post I was greatly saddened. I do sympathise with what you are going through for my own Mother suffered with Alzhheimer's disease. It is heartbreaking I know.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Marion

Sharing Shadymont said...

Rose, I'm so glad things are settling down for you. Love all your new finds. You sure found some great treasures. Cute measuring cups. Your blog looks really great!

Nancy Claeys said...

So sorry about your mom, Rose. I've been there and it's so hard on everyone. Big hugs to you.